19:11 <@     elly> they claim to hail from a small island kingdom somewhere in the pacific
19:11 <@     elly> (and gave a detailed description of where it is on a map and such)
19:11 <@     elly> their hostname is israeli
19:11 <@   jdhore> that doesn't actually exist, mind
19:11 <@     elly> they are requesting to 'borrow' Jilles for two weeks to rebuild their machine god
19:12 <@     elly> (namely Jules Rimet, who as far as I can tell has been dead for 50 years)
19:12 <@   jdhore> elly: jilles can rebuild that/him
19:12 <@     elly> they are very, very insistent that they are 'not a nigger'
19:13 <@     elly> hell, here's the log
19:13 <@     elly> 20:02 <elly> he is your god? Why? O_o
19:13 <@     elly> 20:02 <Jovin> to rebuild Jules Rimet
19:13 <@     elly> 20:03 <Jovin> He is the one!
19:13 <@     elly> 20:03 <elly> Jules Rimet died before Jilles was born
19:13 <@     elly> 20:03 <Jovin> the great creator
19:13 <@     elly> 20:03 <elly> they are unrelated
19:13 <@     elly> 20:03 <Jovin> Jules Rimet
19:13 <@     elly> 20:03 <Jovin> is a machine
19:13 <@     elly> 20:04 <elly> is it?
19:13 <@     elly> 20:04 <Jovin> It was destroyed few days ago, that what was told on TV
19:13 <@     elly> 20:04 <Jovin> Jilles had created this beast
19:13 <@     elly> 20:04 <Jovin> only he can rebuild it
19:13 <@     elly> 20:04 <elly> where is it?
19:13 <@     elly> 20:06 <Jovin> Some people from Oxford destroyed it
19:13 <@     elly> 20:06 <Jovin> the spoke Russian
19:14 <@     elly> 20:06 <Jovin> god damn Ruskies!
19:14 <@  nenolod> what the fuck?
19:14 <@     elly> I am pretty sure
19:14 <@     elly> that this guy is tripping balls
19:14 <@   jdhore> Yeah, i think maybe
19:14 <@     elly> 20:12 <Jovin> ok
19:14 <@     elly> 20:12 <Jovin> Mr elly
19:14 <@     elly> 20:12 <Jovin> Im looking for the one who is ruling Jilles
19:14 <@     elly> 20:12 <Jovin> We want to loan him
19:14 <@     elly> 20:12 <Jovin> for 1-2 weeks
19:14 <@     elly> 20:12 <elly> Jilles is a person; he lives in the Netherlands; you cannot loan him
19:14 <@     elly> 20:13 <Jovin> and pay his master
19:15 <@     elly> 20:13 <Jovin> for his services
19:15 <@     elly> 20:13 <Jovin> Oh, but I have a quite big budget for this
19:15 <@  nenolod> jilles: apparently you are the new god of some island nation
19:16 <@  nenolod> jilles: congrats
19:16 <@     elly> AIUI
19:16 <@     elly> he is offering to purchase Jilles from us
19:16 <@  nenolod> oh
19:16 <@  nenolod> Jovin must be Ryan from DarkMyst then
19:16 <@     elly> 20:15 <Jovin> My king, Touche`
19:16 <@     elly> 20:15 <Jovin> we compence you
19:16 <@     elly> 20:15 <Jovin> next time you visit our Island
19:16 <@     elly> 20:15 <elly> where is your island?
19:16 <@     elly> 20:15 <Jovin> You'll have what ever you want
19:19 <@     elly> 20:16 <Jovin> it's between Taongi Island and Bikar Island
19:19 <@     elly> 20:16 <Jovin> we have here about 400 people
19:19 <@     elly> 20:16 <Jovin> and 33 families
19:19 <@     elly> 20:16 <Jovin> in our kingdom
19:19 <@     elly> 20:16 <Jovin> we have only 4 black people here
19:19 <@     elly> 20:16 <Jovin> really
19:19 <@     elly> 20:17 <Jovin> and they don't show a lot...
19:19 <@  nenolod> LOL.
19:19 <@     elly> ...
19:19 <@     elly> 20:17 <Jovin> you can see it here
19:19 <@     elly> 20:17 <Jovin> http://map.primorye.ru/raster/maps/australia/west_pacific_islands98.jpg
19:20 <@     elly> 20:17 <Jovin> we just want Jilles
19:20 <@     elly> 20:18 <Jovin> to rebuild
19:20 <@     elly> 20:18 <Jovin> Jules Rimet...
19:20 <@     elly> 20:18 <Jovin> :/
19:20 <@     elly> 20:18 <elly> what kind of machine is Jules Rimet?
19:20 <@     elly> 20:18 <Jovin> you see, in our Island
19:20 <@     elly> 20:18 <Jovin> our males
19:20 <@     elly> 20:18 <Jovin> barely get married
19:20 <@     elly> 20:18 <Jovin> with females
19:20 <@     elly> 20:18 <Jovin> you can see why...
19:20 <@     elly> this guy must be tripping
19:20 <@     elly> I can't make heads or tails of this
19:20 <@  nenolod> theory:
19:21 <@  nenolod> and mind, this is just the biggest crock of bullshit I can come up with at present
19:21 <@     elly> the two islands they mention /do/ exist, but there are no islands between them on the map; on the other hand, their claimed island is quite small and might not be mapped, since it's in the ass-end of the Marshalls
19:21 <@     elly> 20:18 <elly> Can you explain why?
19:21 <@     elly> 20:19 <Jovin> because of it, JR was our proffesional haven
19:21 <@     elly> 20:19 <elly> what is it used for?
19:21 <@     elly> 20:20 <Jovin> it used to be our virtual reality
19:21 <@     elly> 20:20 <Jovin> you see?
19:22 <@     elly> 20:20 <Jovin> Like matrix
19:22 <@   jdhore> elly: `according to what i can see, Taongi Island doesn't exist
19:22 <@     elly> 20:20 <Jovin> because of our social problems with the females
19:22 <@     elly> 20:20 <elly> Aha.
19:22 <@  nenolod> theory: in the future, jilles invents holographic projection technology, and this Jovin person has come back from the future to acquire the jilles in order to secure this holographic projection technology
19:22 <@  nenolod> this seems extremely unlikely, so it must be true.
19:22 <@     elly> jdhore: it's an old alias for Bokak
19:22 <@   jdhore> nenolod: before jilles invents it so he can be the one to make billions of dollars off of it?
19:22 <@     elly> jdhore: also, it's Taongi Atoll, not Taongi Island
19:22 <@   jdhore> ah
19:22 <@     elly> 20:21 <Jovin> know, you can see our problem
19:22 <@     elly> 20:21 <Jovin> to atract the local females
19:22 <@     elly> 20:21 <Jovin> JR
19:22 <@     elly> 20:21 <Jovin> was anything to us
19:22 <@     elly> 20:21 <Jovin> until this fucking RUSKIES
19:22 <@     elly> 20:21 <Jovin> had come
19:23 <@   jdhore> elly: I thought he said the British fucked up "JR"?
19:23 <@  nenolod> THE BRITISH FUCKED UP JR MISTER HORELICK
19:23 <@     elly> no
19:23 <@     elly> people from oxford who spoke russian
19:23 <@   jdhore> elly: that'd be British
19:24 <@     elly> 20:22 <Jovin> don't know
19:24 <@     elly> 20:22 <Jovin> Jilles know
19:24 <@     elly> 20:22 <Jovin> knows
19:24 <@   jdhore> elly: The town of Oxford, in Oxfordshire, UK
19:24 <@     elly> (in re 20:22 <elly> what did they do to it?
19:24 <@     elly> )
19:24 <@  nenolod> this is hilarious
19:24 <@   jdhore> pretty much
19:24 <@  nenolod> where is jilles
19:24 <@  nenolod> theory 2: Jovin is from sorcerynet
19:24 <@  nenolod> 'nuff said
19:25 <@     elly> 20:23 <Jovin>  #King_Touche`
19:25 <@  nenolod> 19:24 [SorceryNet] There is no such nick Jovin
19:25 <@     elly> yay spam
19:25 <@  nenolod> 19:25 [SorceryNet] Channel Users  Name
19:25 <@  nenolod> 19:25 [SorceryNet] #King_Touche`: No such nick/channel
19:25 <@  nenolod> 19:25 [SorceryNet] End of /LIST
19:25 <@  nenolod> 19:25 [SorceryNet] Channel Users  Name
19:25 <@  nenolod> 19:25 [SorceryNet] #King_Touche: No such nick/channel
19:25 <@  nenolod> 19:25 [SorceryNet] End of /LIST
19:26 <@     elly> so
19:26 <@     elly> drugs or insanity
19:26 <@     elly> what's the betting
19:26 <@   jdhore> drugs
19:26 <@   jdhore> NO ONE'S that insane
19:26 <@     elly> same here
19:26 <@     elly> the question then becomes, "which drugs?"
19:26 <@  nenolod> 19:26 Irssi: Starting query in staticbox with Jovin
19:26 <@  nenolod> 19:26 <  nenolod> hi yes
19:26 <@  nenolod> 19:26 <  nenolod> can i help you with something?
19:26 <@  nenolod> 19:26 <    Jovin> sorry for all this problems
19:26 <@  nenolod> 19:26 <    Jovin> Im really sorry man
19:26 <@   jdhore> elly: hmm...LSD?
19:27 <@   stitch> heroin
19:27 <@     elly> also
19:27 <@  nenolod> 19:26 <    Jovin> I come from a litlle Island, you see?
19:27 <@  nenolod> 19:27 <  nenolod> yes yes
19:27 <@  nenolod> 19:27 <  nenolod> you're looking for the Jilles
19:27 <@  nenolod> 19:27 <    Jovin> yeah!!!
19:27 <@  nenolod> 19:27 <    Jovin> exactly
19:27 <@     elly> do you guys think we can sell jilles to this person
19:27 <@     elly> and if we do, what will jilles do
19:27 <@  nenolod> elly: we'll sell him a MADE IN CHINA clone
19:27 <@   stitch> elly: i'll just
19:27 <@   jdhore> elly: I think that might be illegal
19:27 <@   stitch> steal jilles back
19:27 <@     elly> jdhore: maybe
19:27 <@     elly> stitch: oh
19:27 <@   stitch> or what neno said
19:28 <@     elly> on the other hand
19:28 <@     elly> actually, no
19:28 <@  nenolod> 19:27 <    Jovin> oh
19:28 <@  nenolod> 19:27 <    Jovin> thank you so much
19:28 <@  nenolod> 19:28 <    Jovin> you are hes boss
19:28 <@  nenolod> 19:28 <    Jovin> right?
19:28 <@  nenolod> 19:28 <    Jovin> I want to loan him
19:28 <@  nenolod> 19:28 <    Jovin> for 7-13 days
19:28 <@  nenolod> 19:28 <    Jovin> For a great payment
19:28 <@  nenolod> 19:28 <  nenolod> that requires a $23.8 million security deposit
19:28 <@  nenolod> 19:28 <  nenolod> the Jilles is state of the art hardware.
19:28 <@     elly> there is no other hand
19:29 <@     elly> nenolod: <333333333333333
19:29 <@  nenolod> 19:28 <    Jovin> american dollars you mean?
19:29 <@  nenolod> 19:29 <  nenolod> yes.  not that nigerian crap.
19:29 <@  nenolod> 19:29 <    Jovin> it's our 3 years Island budhet
19:29 <@  nenolod> 19:29 <    Jovin> budget
19:30 <@     elly> 20:28 <elly> I see that you are talking with nenolod
19:30 <@     elly> 20:29 <Jovin> not at all
19:30 <@     elly> 20:29 <elly> nenolod is a renowned dealer in Jilles
19:31 <@  nenolod> 19:29 <    Jovin> Yeah! forgot to tell you
19:31 <@  nenolod> 19:29 <    Jovin> we are all white
19:31 <@  nenolod> 19:29 <    Jovin> we have only 4 black people
19:31 <@  nenolod> 19:30 <    Jovin> and they aren't violent
19:31 <@  nenolod> 19:30 <    Jovin> nenold?
19:31 <@  nenolod> 19:30 <    Jovin> some of your servants
19:31 <@  nenolod> 19:30 <    Jovin> someone called
19:31 <@  nenolod> 19:30 <    Jovin> elly
19:31 <@  nenolod> 19:30 <    Jovin> now tries to ask me
19:31 <@  nenolod> 19:31 <    Jovin> about our conversation
19:31 <@     elly> :D
19:31 <@     elly> SHE KNOWS OUR SECRETS
19:31 <@     elly> 20:30 <Jovin> he seems to be a little bit crazy
19:31 elly changed the topic of #opers to: please update to charybdis 3.2.1 when it gets released | eu-de.hub is up - european servers are advised to link to it see dotslasher for more details | If you want a @staticbox.net email address message dotslasher (not that anyone will ever use it but meh :D) | elly added as global op | 20:30 <Jovin> he seems to be a little bit crazy
19:32 <@  nenolod> 19:31 <  nenolod> she appears to be spying on my PM windows again.  i must teach her discipline.
19:32 <@   jdhore> LOL
19:32 <@   stitch> looooool
19:32 <@     elly> 20:30 <Jovin> he said
19:32 <@     elly> 20:30 <Jovin> he wants a deposit
19:32 <@     elly> 20:30 <Jovin> of 24 milions
19:32 <@     elly> 20:31 <Jovin> for Jilles
19:32 <@     elly> 20:31 <elly> that is a little bit too high for this jilles
19:32 <@     elly> 20:31 <elly> say 20 millions at most
19:32 <@     elly> 20:31 <Jovin> dollars??
19:32 <@     elly> 20:31 <elly> yes
19:33 <@  nenolod> yeah technically this Jilles is stolen PDPC property
19:33 <@  nenolod> "oops"
19:33            & stitch removes that "Property of PDPC" metal barcode sticker from jilles
19:33 <@   stitch> wait what?
19:34 <@  nenolod> 19:33 <    Jovin> ok
19:34 <@  nenolod> 19:33 <    Jovin> you personal problems
19:34 <@  nenolod> 19:33 <    Jovin> I won't be telling you what to do
19:34 <@  nenolod> 19:34 <  nenolod> i certainly hope not.  then you wouldn't get the Jilles.
19:34 <@     elly> 20:31 <Jovin> but why deposit?
19:34 <@     elly> 20:32 <elly> jilles is very expensive
19:34 <@     elly> 20:32 <Jovin> why not a sallary
19:34 <@     elly> 20:32 <elly> if he is damaged, we lose a lot of money
19:34 <@     elly> 20:32 <Jovin> but it's human
19:34 <@     elly> 20:32 <Jovin> how he can be damaged?
19:34 <@     elly> 20:32 <elly> like
19:34 <@     elly> 20:33 <elly> if he loses an arm or an eye or something
19:34 <@     elly> 20:33 <elly> he becomes very impaired
19:34 <@     elly> 20:33 <Jovin> im realy baffeld now
19:35 <@     elly> 20:33 <Jovin> im realy baffeld now
19:35 <@     elly> 20:33 <elly> well
19:35 <@     elly> 20:34 <elly> can you guarantee his safety somehow?
19:35 <@     elly> 20:34 <elly> if so maybe we can do it without the deposit
19:35 <@     elly> 20:34 <Jovin> sure
19:36 <@     elly> 20:34 <Jovin> he'll fly
19:36 <@     elly> 20:34 <Jovin> by our royal plane
19:36 <@     elly> 20:34 <Jovin> and he can bring hes family
19:36 <@     elly> 20:34 <Jovin> and keepers
19:36 <@     elly> 20:34 <Jovin> with him
19:36 <@  nenolod> 19:35 <    Jovin> you're hes employer
19:36 <@  nenolod> 19:35 <    Jovin> right?
19:36 <@  nenolod> 19:35 <  nenolod> at any rate, dead peasant insurance is illegal in the US now
19:36 <@  nenolod> 19:36 <  nenolod> so we need a $24m deposit
19:36 <@  nenolod> lol
19:37 <@  nenolod> elly: god only knows what he is PMing jilles
19:37 jilles jilles@jilles.staff
19:37  ¤ ircname  ¤  Jilles Tjoelker
19:37  ¤ channels ¤  #mowgli @#staticbox #atheme-project @#opers @#charybdis @#help #freebsd @#juped @#atheme
19:37  ¤ server   ¤  alfred.staticbox.net [Serious Business.]
19:37  ¤          ¤  IRC Operator
19:37  ¤          ¤  is using a secure connection
19:37  ¤ hostname ¤  turtle.stack.nl 131.155.140.132
19:37  ¤ idle     ¤  0 days 4 hours 12 mins 17 secs [signon: Mon May 31 22:39:38 2010]
19:37  ¤ account  ¤  jilles
19:37 End of WHOIS
19:37 <@     elly> yeah
19:37 <@     elly> I am really curious
19:37 <@     elly> too bad I am not spying on his pm window
19:38 <@     elly> 20:35 <elly> hm
19:38 <@     elly> 20:35 <elly> what kind of salary are you offering?
19:38 <@     elly> 20:35 <Jovin> money
19:38 <@     elly> 20:35 <Jovin> and our export
19:38 <@     elly> 20:35 <elly> like
19:38 <@     elly> 20:35 <elly> how much?
19:38 <@     elly> 20:35 <elly> and what is your export?
19:38 <@     elly> 20:36 <Jovin> about 1,500 dollars a day
19:38 <@     elly> 20:36 <Jovin> and our export
19:38 <@     elly> 20:37 <Jovin> Dolphins, for example... pink pearls
19:38 <@     elly> man
19:39 <@     elly> we could rent Jilles to a pacific island nation for $1500 per day and a pod of dolphins
19:39 <@     elly> how can we lose
19:39 <@  nenolod> <insert dolphinsex.org joke here>
19:39 <@     elly> 20:37 <elly> we will consider your offer
19:39 <@     elly> 20:37 <Jovin> ok my friend
19:39 <@     elly> 20:37 <Jovin> you see
19:39 <@     elly> 20:37 <Jovin> our females
19:39 <@     elly> 20:38 <Jovin> will be happy
19:39 <@     elly> 20:38 <Jovin> too
19:39 <@     elly> so that's why they want Jilles.
19:39 <@     elly> Their females are unhappy.
19:39 <@  nenolod> they want a SEX MACHINE
19:39 <@     elly> thus jilles, presumably
19:40 <@  nenolod> i wonder if we can blame this incident on OpenSEX
19:40 <@     elly> 20:38 <Jovin> ok?
19:40 <@     elly> 20:39 <elly> your offer has been submitted, we shall discuss it at our next meeting
19:40 <@   stitch> jilles: reproducing would not be that bad of a thing
19:40 <@     elly> 20:39 <elly> check back in 3 days in #staticbox
19:41 <@     elly> 20:39 <Jovin> ok
19:41 <@     elly> 20:39 <Jovin> I will
19:41 <@     elly> 20:39 <Jovin> thank you so much
19:41 <@     elly> 20:39 <elly> good day
19:41 <@   stitch> it would probably even out the amount of retarded shit on IRC within the next 20 years
19:41 <@     elly> 20:39 <Jovin> and take care with Jilles
19:41 <@     elly> 20:39 <Jovin> !!!
19:41 <@     elly> 20:39 <elly> we always do
19:41 <@     elly> 20:39 <Jovin> Keep him well
19:41 <@     elly> if I don't remember this in 3 days and the dude shows up in #staticbox, someone remind me
19:42 <@     elly> okay
19:42 <@     elly> who wants to be at the meeting'